First of the Month: May

Welcome to the fifth and perhaps most beautiful month of the Gregorian calendar. All those April showers that poured down will now turn your yards (or at least those north of the Mason and Dixon line) into a fluorescent field as May returns. Yes, those tulips with a Dutch-touch and bright red geraniums will be in full bloom. And lets not forget the smell of fresh cut grass, which is only good until the local government tells us that its not ozone friendly to drive. (1st: Global Warming is a joke, right? 2nd: That won’t happen for at least another six weeks.) May, though, isn’t just celebrated in Neil Diamond’s land of America. No, it‘s certainly lauded by a global audience. For example, May 12th marks International Nurses Day, which certainly gives credit to those on staff at fictional Seattle Grace hospital but not starring on "Grey’s Anatomy." And who could forget Cinco de Mayo Day on May 5th. (So on Monday go forth and drink a Sol with your favorite tostada yo-quiero combination. Whatever that means.) Let’s not forget about you bikers out there. We all know that May 19th concludes a weeklong festival called “Bike to Work Week.” Finally, what would May’s fresh cut greens be without the freshly mowed Kentucky blue grass at the Kentucky Derby? (Big Brown is a 3 to 1 favorite from the 20 spot) Well, it wouldn’t be much of anything, just like it wouldn’t be much without lots of playoffs in basketball and hockey, (Thanks again TNT for 40 games in 40 nights.) Virginia’s Gold Cup (drink up friends) and the start of Frenchmen running on clay at the French Open. May concludes on the 31st, five days before BBQ’s are in full-force as Memorial Day begins its legendary task of being the gateway to summer.

And how could anyone celebrate the fifth month without birthdays? Let’s first say a happy birthday to Mr. Tim McGraw, who turns 41 today, exactly one day before David Beckham’s left foot turns 33. (His right foot also turns 33.) On May 12th we get a double birthday celebration with former "American Pie" star Jason Biggs turning the big 30 and “Higher Love” author Steve Winwood turning 60. A few days later that "Shrek," ax-murderer marrying husband and Canadian Mike Myers turns 45 on May 25th, which is exactly six days before the end of the month birthdays. This list includes swearing Irishman Colin Farrell (32); “Million Dollar Baby” Clint Eastwood (78); “Broadway” Joe Namath (65); and Don Ameche, the man who played Shadow in "Homeward Bound," who would have turned 100 had he not died before the filming of "Homeward Bound II."

First of the Month: April

Jokes over everyone; April Fools Day is here and “America’s Pastime” is in full swing. Welcome to the fourth month of the Gregorian calendar: April, which for many is the center of our nation’s sports scene. Only when the Cherry Blossoms are in beautiful blooming form can we can see the Final Four, some man wearing the covenant green jacket and 50,000 of your best drinking friends saying, “Thank You God” to the sound of wood crashing on two thin rubber layers. (Come on, I am talking about baseball.) April is beyond sports though. It is when the jokers aren’t the only ones pulling the pranks and when green-loving hippies are given not just one holiday in Earth Day, but another in Arbor Day. For our Jewish crowd, Passover occurs this month and for our tax paying citizens, you have just 15 days until you know what is due to you know who. Finally -- but not the least important thing -- April is home to National Poetry Month and Patriots’ Day, a civic holiday in Massachusetts and for some reason a public school observance in Wisconsin. (I guess that’s what you get with a socialist state that claims to have founded the Republican Party).

And how could anyone celebrate the fourth month without birthdays? To start off the month, today, we celebrate the 70^th birthday of Ali McGraw. (Whom you say? Well, the woman from “Love Story.” What movie you ask? Go to your local blockbuster to see this 1970 hit.) Two days after McGraw, Axel Foley turned Nutty Professor turned Pluto Nash back to Nutty Professor turns 47 and that lovely star from “30 Rock,” Alec Baldwin turns 50. On April 13^th Kentucky fan Ashley Judd turns 40 exactly nine days after great debater Pete Rose turns 67. (Question of the Month: When, if ever, will Rose get into the Hall of Fame?) And to round out April birthdays, we tip a “beer for our horses” on April 20^th for Willie Nelson’s 75^th birthday.